1st day of practicum

I SURVIVED the first day of practicum!! This was my first time in many years working a 12 hour shift. I was nervous because I had never been in this facility before, but I was also excited about what the day would hold. I was VERY PLEASED how smoothly the day flowed. I got to learn LOTS of new things & how to work the machines. It was a GREAT day full of learning. When I got off I had to head home to get the kiddo's. I was exhausted...lol I don't think I realized how tired I really was until today. I took the kids to school & came back home and slept most of the day. I'm not sure how I will survive this weekend because I have to pull two days back to back. I guess I will worry about that when the time comes.

It was a great afternoon with the kids...NOTHING to do! This doesn't happen very often. I have been cleaning house & doing laundry all afternoon. It was nice just to stay home & relax.

Practicum starts tomorrow :)

What a day. Test day is ALWAYS CRAZY! When we finish the test our results show up instantly. When my results showed up I almost had a panic attack...I had NEVER did this bad on a test. I was just relieved that I wasn't the "only one" who had BOMBED the test! After the test we have to sit through 7 hours of lecture....my brain is already fried & I have to sit & listen to lecture for 7 hours...BLAH! Anyways got a longer lunch today...thank goodness! While we were at lunch we started getting e-mails about test questions being thrown out....keep those points coming...I need ALL I can get! Luckily, I got enough points added that I am still passing the class & my head is still above water. I will take that! I wanted to have a little room going into final so I would be so stressed out (& my support system wouldn't be either)...it's not looking good so far...but at least my head is above water. We still have 2 more test, a final & a HESI, so maybe I can make up some points before finals!

Practicum starts tomorrow which equals more time in BG for me...which makes me HAPPY! I <3 being in BG with my momma...just wish the kids could be here with me. They usually stay 1 night a week with Nanny & Pa anyways & with me only doing 1 day during the week this week it won't be much of a change. The next few weeks I will have to do more than 1 day...so that means more time away from them. I am sure they will enjoy the extra time with Nanny & Pa though...an this will all be over SOON! I am excited about what tomorrow will bring. This will be my 1st time in this facility & I get to be on ICU so I hope there will be LOTS of opportunity for learning!

It baseball time...

Today Spencer had his 1st ball practice....and it was COLD! I thought I was going to FREEZE! I didn't take my camera because I was studying for the test tomorrow. I will try to get some pictures of practices soon. They are going to start practicing 2 days a week so I am sure there will be LOTS of pictures.

Morgan had dance & gymnastics today too. She is my little dancer. I am thankful there is a place in our town. Mrs. Jessica is wonderful with all the girls. I have been going to gymnastics for the last few weeks & I am LOVIN being able to tumble again! It has been years since I had done gymnastics & it feels good to be back. They are getting ready for recital. I will take my camera one week & get some pictures of them practicing. They are all so cute & I can see lots of improvement just in the last few weeks.

Tomorrow is TEST DAY! Please remember all of us in your prayers. This is test 3 of 5 for the semester. 6 weeks from today is FINALS...42 days & this will all be OVER :)

Sorry NO pictures today...my camera battery is dead & I forgot to charge it.

MIA...Disney on Ice

Well test day is coming up Tuesday so I have been MIA (missing in action).

I ended up having to take Spencer to the doctor Friday...the verdict was he had strep. No school for him = NO study group for me Friday.

Saturday was "STUDY" day! I really don't feel like I am ready for a test on Tuesday...therefor there will be A LOT of cramming Monday!!!!

Today we went to see Disney on Ice at Rupp Arena with some of my Girl Scout girlies & parents. It wasn't what I was expecting it to be...it was AMAZING!!!! No matter how old you get you can always use some Disney magic! It was a much needed break from studying & we made lots of life long memories! Here are a few pictures.

1st nursing interview

Well today was the BIG day! I had my 1st nursing interview. I started getting extremely nervous yesterday & worked myself up. I got up this morning & was a nervous wreck. The interview wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. After I left I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders. Now the waiting game starts...they will meet on April 14 & notify everyone April 15...good or bad. I have prayed a lot the last few weeks that God will lead me in the right direction...so I am leaving it in his hands! We will see what happens.

This afternoon we had a Girl Scout meeting. We taught them safety & first aid. They all had a great time practicing what they had learned on their partners. I love all my Girl Scout girlies :)

Spencer isn't feeling well...just hoping he isn't getting strep. If he isn't better in the morning we will be taking a trip to the MD.

That is all for now...gotta hit the books...46 days till finals & 51 days till graduation :)

Dear Life, Please let me off the emotional roller coaster NOW! Thanks!

What a day...Emotions are still going wild, but everybody tells me this is normal.

Today started with a LONG day of lecture. It was such a beautiful day to be sitting in a classroom all day, but you do what you have to do to get through this. Only 5 more weeks of lecture left...this just doesn't seem possible. I am so excited that I am ALMOST finished with Nursing School, but I am also terrified, nervous & sad that this chapter of my life is coming to an end. I'm sure there will be more mixed feeling in the future that will make it to this blog.

After class we had graduation fair...more emotions...We got our caps & gowns today. It just seems unreal that this is almost over...but so exciting at the same time.

After graduation fair Sherri, Jessica & I went to my favorite "comfort" food restaurant...Family Style. We shared some much needed laughs & conversation.

And then the "joys" of nursing school really hit home when I got home. My cable, internet & phone had been shut off today because I "forgot" to pay the bill...Imagine that. That's what happens when you have too much on your plate. Luckily this is the night the kids stay with Nanny & Pa or they would have been VERY upset that there was NO TV. So with homework due at 8:00 & no internet connection to submit it...I loaded everything up & came to my mom's. Thank goodness for mom!

I go for my 1st nursing interview on Thursday. I am terrified, nervous, excited & hopeful. All the emotions have got to slow down...just a little. Please say an extra prayer for me!

LAST day of Girl Scout CoOkIeS & FIRST day of spring :)

Today was the LAST day of Girl Scout Cookie Sales...WOO HOO. We sat up at Walmart and sold over 100 boxes. We still have about 100 boxes left to sale, so if you still need cookies you can contact me. Here are a few pictures from the booth sale.

Morgan was dancing as usual.

Morgan

I don't think I have ever blogged on my "favorite" Girl Scout cookies. These are my favorite...Dulce de Leche. The 1st year they came out they were amazing. They were a full size cookie with carmel drizzled over them, but apparently when they got hot they were melting together. So the 2nd year they came out with mini ones & they don't have the carmel drizzle. They are still my favorite though.

The beautiful clouds on the 1st day of Spring

After selling cookies for 4 hours we headed to the park to play. After playing we went to McDonald's & they played on the playground after they ate their supper.

After we got home Spencer decided he was ready for his head to be shaved for the season. He has been wanting it shaved for several weeks, but I knew we would have more chilly days. He would wear his head shaved all year if I would let him. Here is a picture.

Hopefully in the next few weeks we can get some family pictures taken. The weather is perfect right now...if I could just find time to do them.

Finally...a smile is back on my face :)

It has been a wonderful, exciting day. There were lots of happy moments today.

After spending all day yesterday & most of last night "trying" to write my "Thank You's" for the pinning ceremony with NO success...I decided I would sleep on it & do it this morning. While getting ready to head to BG for Sinman, pictures & thank you's I had 1,000+ thoughts going through my head. I did a lot of soul searching yesterday & this morning trying to find the "right" words. I don't want anyone to feel left out during the pinning ceremony because everything everybody has done for me or the kids during this journey has helped me more than you will ever know. So I kept soul searching on the drive to BG & when I got there I starting writing. Everything just seemed to flow & came out of my brain just the way I had imagined. When I re-read what I had wrote I was in tears...imagine that :) So now it was time to begin this exciting day.

We had simulation with Sinman first things. Just to give you an idea there were 5 nursing students left in the room with a computerized manikin. The man coded on us & we lost him...but it wasn't just our manikin...everyone's died.

Then we went & took our nursing pictures. I have waited for this day for a LONG time. It was a once in a lifetime experience!

Then it was time to tape my "thank you's". When I went into the room to tape them they said they had to be less than 1 minute & there was NO way I would be able to get all that in. I explained I had put a lot of time & thinking into writing this & I would talk very fast to get it in because I couldn't change any of it. I won't reveal my actual words till graduation day, but I will go ahead & type them up & schedule them to post on May 14. I want all my family & friends to hear them for the 1st time at pinning ceremony. :)

After all the excitement at school I headed to O'Charley's to meet my cousin for lunch. It was nice to sit and have a meal & socialize without worring about school for a little while.

It was a beautiful day so after I got home I headed to the park for a little while to enjoy the sunshine.

The kids staying with Nanny & Pa tonight, but Morgan missed her mommy. I ended up going to get her. So it has been a girl's night at the house. She was excited to spend some time alone with mommy & play on the computer.

Guess that sums up my day. Just glad to have my smile back :)

Emotional Basket Case

I don't know what is going on in my brain...but I wish it would STOP! I have NEVER been this emotional in my life. I have so many emotions...excited, nervous, proud, terrified. This has been my life for so many years & now it is all coming to an end. I know I should be very exicted & proud and I am, but I am also terrified & nervous.

Tomorrow we have to tape our "Thank you's" to be played at graduation. I have tried ALL day to write them, but everytime I do tears start rolling. There are so many people I want to thank who have pushed me & encouraged my through this journey in my life. I want them to know how thankful I am for them...I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT THEM! It just makes it that much harder to make sure I get all the words just right.

Here is a picture of the "UGLY" nursing hat

I have been trying to keep busy today so maybe I wouldn't be so emotional. I have been working on laundry all day. I almost have my NCLEX prep plan finished...only 4 more test! WOO HOO!

The kids are at their daddy's...they stayed there last night too because he will be out of town this weekend so they are spending some time with him this week. It is nice to have a break during the week...but I miss them like CRAZY...maybe that is part of the reason I have been so emotional. Who knows what the cause...just hope it subsides SOON!!!!

Even on my weakest day...I get a little bit stronger

Where do I even begin to start??? I feel like I am about to have a mental breakdown. It seems like I have been hit by a ton of bricks. I have been waiting for this to happen...but it doesn't make dealing with it any easier.

I guess I will start 1st with school. We had our 2nd test today & I PASSED...YAY! Rather than that...everything else seems to be a big whirlwind. We had practicum orientation today & I am getting excited about it...but it is going to be another thing for me to juggle emotional, physical & financially. I knew this semester there was going to be a lot of things that had to be done for graduation, nursing licensure, NCLEX...etc...but I don't think I really realize how much money all this was going to cost. I mean I am already $50,000 in debt just with my tuition and books. It seems like everytime I turn around there is something else to be done. I got my nursing hat today...and my gosh they are the "ugliest" things I have ever saw! We have nursing pictures on Thursday...which cost $45.00 & we only get 2 wallets & a class photo...crazy. Then our nursing license application is $110 & our NCLEX is $200. We also have to do a fingerprint background check...who knows what this cost. I guess I am just a little overwhelmed...I am going to school for my future...to start a new live for my children & me...which will start with A WHOLE LOT OF DEBT!!!!

Today the MCBG graduate nursing recruiter came to school to talk to us about jobs. Really I was not ready to start thinking about jobs until I make it through this semester, but yesterday was the deadline for application process, so I got all my stuff in yesterday. They are going to start interviewing next week. April 15th they will let us know who got jobs and who didn't. I am excited about MCBG. They have a program they put new graduates through. It is a 3 week classroom setting where we will learn about the facility and procedures. Then they will try to place us in an area we are interested in & we will follow a preceptor for 6-8 weeks. I like this idea because I have always wanted to do OB or pediatrics & with this facility I may be able to start in one of these areas. I am hoping this will be my ticket out of this town.

This town will never be my "home". My home is in BG & one day I plan to go back "home". I am not a small town person. There is TOO much drama & everyone know...or thinking they know everything about your life. I know there are people like this in every town but this town is overflowing with drama. People never seem to amaze me in this town....disappointment, lies, drama, bullsh*t....I am SO OVER ALL OF IT!

I have done a lot of soul searching the last several weeks. I know I am not the person I was 1 year ago...and I am SO THANKFUL for this...but I still have a lot of growing to do. I am 30 years old & this is so NOT what I thought my life would be like. I am a single mother of 2 amazing kids...but sometimes I wish I had someone to spend my life with. I know when the timing is right everything will fall into place. Sometimes this is REALLY hard for me to understand. Going through nursing school, raising 2 kids & stressing about everything...sometimes I just wish I had someone here to have adult conversations with or to just hold me & tell me everything will be OK. I do have an AMAZING family support system behind me...& they would do ANYTHING in their power to make sure I succeed...but its just not the same as having someone to share this with.

I know all this will make me a stronger person in the long run. I also know God will not give me anymore than I can handle...but sometimes I wish he didn't think I was so strong.

I think I have vented enough for the night :)

A little overwhelmed

Feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment...so much going on.

I FINALLY got my practicum assignment....I am at MCBG in ICU. I am VERY excited about this. I am hoping this will be a GREAT learning experience. This will be my 1st time in this facility and that makes me a little nervous. I am hoping I will learn a lot through this experience.

I submitted my 1st application for a nursing graduate job. I wasn't really sure about putting applications in before I graduated because I didn't want to "count my chickens before they hatched" But I didn't want to miss out on the opportunity so I submitted all my paperwork. We will see what happens.

Today we spend the day studying for our 2nd test tomorrow. I hope all the studying pays off!

Thursday we take our nursing pictures and tape our "Thank you's" to be played at graduation. I still haven't written mine...I know I will be an emotional basketcase when I start. There are so many people I have to thank who have pushed me when I didn't think I could go any further.

I still have to apply for my nursing license & NCLEX exam, but I am going to wait till closer to graduation before I do.

Everything seems to be happening so FAST...2 months from today is graduation & pinning ceremony.

Bittersweet moments

Time change.

I LOVE daylights saving time...once my body gets used to it. I was NOT ready to get up early to study this morning though. I spent the morning studying so I could spend the afternoon with the kids.

I was a beautiful day & we decided to go to the park. We ended up spending 4 hours there (I didn't have my camera...so there are no pictures to share...sorry). They had a BLAST though. I am looking forward to warmer weather & more trips to the park. I took my study guide with me and planned on working on it while I was there, but I didn't accomplish much. It was to pretty! After 4 hours at the park we decided to go to McDonalds for supper. They got to play outside there after they finished eating.

Overall it was a pretty good day.

Quote for the day: "Every step you take, is a step away from where you used to be."

5 years already?

‎5 years ago today is the day that you left and went to heaven above, I know your looking down on us, protecting us with your love. We love and miss you very much Eric!

For those close to me you know Eric was is my step-brother & he had cystic fibrosis. Eric inspired in so many ways. We as a family have done everything to keep his memory alive for Morgan & Spencer. Morgan was only 4 & Spencer 3 when he left us & I was very scared they wouldn't remember him. I am very thankful that they haven't. They still talk about him a lot and we have pictures throughout the house of him.

Morgan & Eric-May 2001

Eric & Spencer-November 2002

I tried to stay busy today so it wouldn't be so hard. We spend the day studying for our test Tuesday.

After study group I decided to get away from the "drama town" for the night. I spent some quality "girl time" with Jen & her kids. We were planning to swim, have pizza & just relax, but the pool was cold so we decided to watch the kids swim & chat.

Jason Aldean & Eric Church @ Rupp Arena

The kids Valentine's Day present from me was tickets to see Jason Aldean & Eric Church. They were SUPER excited because all I heard is they wanted to go see the guy that sings "Big Green Tractor".

This is a picture of the kids & me before the concert.

Here is a picture of Jen & me. I am SO glad she went with me! We had a BLAST!

Our seats weren't that great, but we could still see & hear. We literally had to walk up 50 flights of stairs. Once we got up there Morgan started crying and said he couldn't sit up there because she was scared of heights, but after the lights went off she was fine. She danced & sung through the whole concert.

Spencer on the other hand as soon as the lights went off & the music started he was ready to leave. He didn't enjoy the concert like I thought he would, but we will know better next time.

Eric Church :)

Jason Aldean :)

Graduation is just around the corner....countdown has began!

HAPPY MARCH EVERYONE! This means graduation is getting closer by the day. I am trying to enjoy & take in every day because they are all bittersweet.

It has been a LONG, HARD faught battle, but it is just around the corner now! I am getting SO excited. I ordered my cap & gown today for graduation. This will be where I am in a couple of months

I had debated on whether I wanted to walk the line or not. The nursing program has it's own pinning ceremony the same day as WKU's graduation that is smaller & more personal for our program. I have decided now that I am going to walk the line at Western's graduation. I will be a 1st generation graduate in the family & I want the kids to see me walk the line. I can't believe it is getting this close.