NCLEX

Today was the dreaded NCLEX day.  I was scheduled to take my test at 12:30.  I got there about 11:30 and they let me go ahead and start testing.  When the test kept going after 75 questions....my heart literally dropped. Somewhere around question 160 it was time for my scheduled break.  I took my break & went to the restroom.  When I came back the lady at the desk ask me if I was ready for more....My response was "No, not really".  I checked back in to go finish my test.  I had 2-3 more questions & my screen went BLANK.  I swear that was the most sickening feeling in the world.

When I got out to the vehicle I thought I would PUKE.  I am so thankful I had someone go with me, because there would have been NO way I could/would have made it home.  My nerves were tore up all the way.  I bet I checked KBN website 10 times before we got out of Lexington to see if my PL license were still valid.  They were still active, but that wasn't enough...I bet I checked them 100 time before I got home.  When I got home the first thing I did was try the "Pearson trick" & it didn't work...which made my heart sink even more.  Then I checked the KBN again & my PL's are still active.

This is the worst feeling in the world!  Everyone tried to tell me how bad I would feel, but until you experience it for yourself you just don't understand.  I have never been so sick at my stomach in my life.  My stomach is in KNOTS & I think if I could puke I would feel better.  I just want to KNOW....NOW.  I can find out on Wednesday at 12:30....if I am still sane then.

Tomorrow....

Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is the BIG day when I take my NCLEX for my RN license.  I have been sick for two days just thinking about it.  My nerves are shot & probably will stay that way until I find out the results.  Please say LOTS & LOTS of prayers.  I should find out the results on Wednesday.

This is going to be a crazy, hectic, busy week....& I am starting it ALL with my NCLEX exam.  This week will be full of many changes for our family.  When I scheduled my NCLEX I knew I would also be moving this week & that i would have two days of class for work.  A lot of people have told me I was crazy scheduling it when there was so many other things going on, but I have ALWAYS worked better under pressure.  

Ready or Not?!?!

My stomach has been in knots all day long...I'm not sure if there is a virus going around or if it is my nerves.  I have been waiting for this upcoming week for the last month and now it is fixing to start...READY OR NOT?!?!  I know it is going to be a stressful, crazy, busy week...but that is the story of our life so we should slide right on through it. 

I took off work tonight so I could "try" to get my sleep schedule back on track before the "BIG" day Monday.  The last two nights have been very stressful at work & I needed tonight to focus, clear my head & get ready for this week.  I came home this morning and slept for about two hours so hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight.  Monday is NCLEX day.  I am VERY nervous, anxious & ready for it to be over with.  I think I am probably the last one in our class to take it.  Now I wish I would have taken it before I started working, but it is what it is...and it will all work out.  Please say lots & lots of prayers.  I will not find out the results until Wednesday therefore it is going to be a LONG 48 hours. 

Monday night & Tuesday will be spent packing.  Packing seems to have consumed many hours of my life in the past few weeks, but it will all be worth it soon.

Wednesday I have class all day at work.  After work packing will be put in FULL swing to try to get everything finished.

Thursday is another BIG day.  MOVING DAY!  The kids and I are so excited.  This is going to be a major change for all of us, but hopefully the transition will be easy for ALL of us.  More on this transition & pictures soon.

Friday I have another day of class at work.  The weekend will be spent unpacking.  Thankful my mom is coming to spend the weekend with us to help get everything unpacked & settled.

That is my upcoming week in a nut-shell. 

Packing...

The house looks FaNtAsTiC!  I went and looked at it last night & it looks like a totally different house.  I wish I would have taken my camera & got some pictures.  I'm sure there will be many pictures soon enough.

Today while the kids were at school I studied for NCLEX.  It won't be long until it is time to take it.  I am nervous, anxious & really just ready for it to be over & done with.  Usually my mind always thinks the worst thoughts about everything...so my mind has been going in circles about what will happen if I don't pass.  I know that I will my job will be held for me, but I don't want to have to pay & retake the test again.

This afternoon I packed some more...the kitchen cabinets are almost cleaned out.  I didn't realize I had accumulated so much stuff in five years.  I have made two trips to the dumpster so far & there will probably make many more in the next week.  I am getting rid of stuff that I no longer want/need.  We are having a big yard sale in October.  I have found things that I never unpacked from the last time I moved three years ago.  My thoughts are if I haven't used it in three years I'm sure that I haven't missed it and don't need it.  That is it for now...back to packing for me.

Today has been a productive day...thanks to Lorri & Jen.  The building is now cleaned out & ready to go.  That was one of the two places I dreaded packing the most...the basement being the other one.  I am glad the building is out of the way & all the yard sale stuff was delivered to mom's by Lorri.  Thanks girls for all your help today.  I couldn't have done it without you.

The house is READY!  To bad it's still another week before we can move.  The kids & I are very excited.  They have done a lot of work on it.  I really wish I would have taken a before & after picture because it looks like a totally different house.  I am excited to see what all they have done since Saturday.

Now just to get through the next eight busy days...work, NCLEX, class.  It will be here before I know it & I am sure I won't be ready because I only have two more days I can devote to packing.  Hopefully I can get as much accomplished tomorrow as I did today & I should be in pretty good shape.  Mom is coming up next weekend to help unpack so if I don't get everything packed & moved we can make another trip to finish up.

Tragedy

This morning I woke up to text/phone calls from family and friends because I was supposed to be at the Indiana State Fair last night watching the Sugarland concert where tragedy struck.  Thank you to everyone for the calls & text checking on my this morning.  I have always been a firm believer in "Everything Happens for a Reason" and with all the changes going on in my life I had decided to give my ticket away.  Sugarland is my free therapy & when I listen to them they always bring me back to reality.  I was upset that I wasn't going to be able to attend the concert, but with everything going on it just wasn't possible.  Thankfully the girls that went are all OK, but please pray for the families that lost love ones and for all the injured victims.

Here is a video of the stage falling for those of you who haven't seen it.  Please pray for all involved!

http://news.yahoo.com/outdoor-stage-collapses-indiana-state-fair-022230858.html


Remembering all the victims of this awful tragedy

CHANGE...CHANGE...CHANGE

CHANGE...

A word that has consumed my life for the last few weeks/months and there is more change coming.  I'm not sure where to even begin with all of it.  Change is inevitable...I know this.  Some change is bad, but some change is also good.  I knew there would be lots of change when I graduated school, but all the change has took me by surprise.  Some days I'm not sure if I am coming or going, some days I think my brain might explode, some days I think WOW when & where did all this change come from.  I am and have always been a firm believer in "Everything Happens for a Reason" and that is what continues to get me through each and every day.  So lets talk (or let me vent) about all the changes (and thoughts) running through my brain lately.

CHANGE...

Most of you that have followed my blog for a while know my world was flipped for a 360 when I was called and offered a job in BG with only a short time to get a lot of things done.  I took the job and busted my tail to make sure I was able to start with all my other nursing classmates.  We went through weeks of orientation, classes, and orientating to the floor.  At first I was really overwhelmed with all the "NEW" things I was having to learn...policies, procedures, equipment, paperwork...etc...and also trying to get my body & schedule adjusted to the long hours.  While training on the floor during on day shift I felt really overwhelmed because it was very busy & chaotic (there is a lot more people around during the day...bosses, doctors, social workers, etc.).  I was shuffled from person to person and everyone had their own way of doing things therefore I felt like I never learned anything.  After three weeks on day shift they switched me to nights.  It was a huge change for my body.  I wasn't sure about working all night and sleeping all day.  Luckily it would only be three days a week and I would have plenty of days off.  After only being on nights for five nights I feel like I have learned so much more then I did on days.  The night crew is very helpful and a really great group of girls to work with.  I am loving everything about nights, except the fact that my body hasn't completely adjusted.  The first three nights I survived on Red Bull, but when I got home I wasn't able to get any rest.  I went 72 hours and only slept 10 hours.  My body was exhausted.  The last two nights have been much better...no Red Bull's and I actually got some sleep.  So maybe there is hope that my body can and will adjust to this eventually.

CHANGE...

This weekend I was supposed to go to Indy for our annual "girl's" weekend trip to see Sugarland, but with everything that has happened in the last week I couldn't bring myself to go.  I was VERY sad yesterday when I GAVE my ticket away....yes I said GAVE :(  There were many reason's why I decided not to go.  I hope the girls have a great trip and I wish I was going with ya'll.

CHANGE....

I scheduled my NCLEX yesterday and really thought I might puke since the date has been set.  This is the test I have to pass to get my KY Nursing License.  I have only told a few people when I will be taking the exam...but I will tell you it is toward the end of the month...so start saying LOTS of prayers.  There is a lot riding on this test & I know I have an amazing support group so pray, pray, pray :)

CHANGE....

Normal...I remember blogging about "normal" right before graduation.  I can remember thinking "I would be glad when we had a normal life again".  Then I got to thinking normal....really what is normal anymore.  Well I still don't think I have figured that out.  I thought when school was out we would have more time and money to do more things, but with starting a new job it didn't  happen like I had first planned.  I am still looking for normal and maybe I will find it soon.

CHANGE....

I bought a vehicle a few weeks ago, because mine bit the dust.  It was a huge change for me.  I LOVE my vehicle, but I stressed out about the whole situation.  It was a huge step for me to take because this was my first major purchase I had made by myself since my divorce five years ago.  I didn't want to overload my finances and put myself in a bind.  I knew everything would work out the way it was supposed to and so far so good.  The kids & I are loving the mini van :)

CHANGE...

Facebook is now a thing of the PAST.  It was one of the BEST things I have ever done.  I had "tried" many time to delete my account...unsuccessfully until last month.  With working, the kids and life I just didn't have time.  At one time FB consumed a lot of my time...I had it on my phone, it was the first thing I had to look at when I turned my computer on...it just CONSUMED way to much of my time....and then throw in all the drama and it just got to much for me to handle.  At times I felt like I (and the rest of the world) was consumed by FB.  Since I deleting my account things are so much simpler and I like it.  I do miss my nursing friends, high school friends and out of town family, but I will find other ways to keep in touch (like blogging).  I have tried to do better with my blog...mostly for kids to look back at...and for me to be vent occasionally.

CHANGE...

Please continue to keep my mom in your prayers.  She is going through a difficult time right now.  We have all been through some twist and turns the last couple of weeks.  My mom has ALWAYS been there for me through the ups and downs....and I am returning the favor now.   

CHANGE...CHANGE...CHANGE...There is plenty more changes coming in the next few weeks/months so stay tune.

Gotta Love Nights

Tonight will be my third night in a roll.  I have slept a total of 10 hours the last three days.  I am hoping my body begins to adjust SOON!  I have tried EVERYTHING I know to be able to sleep during the day.  My windows have Reynold's wrap, blankets & curtains on them so it is SUPER DARK in my room.  I have also been running a fan to drown out noise.  Everyone says it will take time to get used to nights & then some people tell me I may never get used to them....that would really stink.  I just want to be able to rest & feel like I have had some sleep.  I was really tired when I came home this morning, but I was only able to sleep four hours and then I was wide awake...CRAZINESS 

Random Rambling

The kids had a great first day of school.  They are glad to be back with all their friends & they love their teachers.  We got all their paperwork filled out last night & they were excited and ready to go to school this morning.

As for me...I should be sleeping.  Tonight is my first night at work.  It has been 11 years since I have worked nights, so this should be a fun & interesting night.  I tried to stay away as late as I could last night, but it is pretty boring when everyone else is sleeping.  I am fixing to try to lay down and nap for a few hours or it will be a LONG night.

Flashback Friday will be postponed again this week....If I was to start searching for pictures now on a Flashback post I know I wouldn't get any sleep today.

Kids First Day of School 2011

Another summer has come to an end....today was the kids first day of school.  It is hard to believe that I now have a third & a fifth grader.  It is hard to believe they are growing up so fast.  They were both excited about starting a new school year.  They were ready to walk out the door at seven am this morning.  I was able to snap a few pictures though.

Morgan & Spencer
1st Day of School 2011

Morgan's 1st day of 5th grade
2011

Spencer's 1st day of 3rd grade
2011

A Look  back at...1st days of school

This week has been a week that I don't really know how to put in words.  There has been a lot happen that has opened my eyes to a lot of things.  My mind has been blown, I have been sick & my heart has ached for a very special person in my life.  I am not going to go into details about exactly what is going on, but I have realized...LIFE CAN CHANGE IN A BLINK OF AN EYE.  Things aren't always what they seem to be...maybe when the dust settles I will blog more about this subject.  Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers as we adjust to this "change".

Another huge change for me will start tomorrow....I will start working nights.  I just hope that my body will adjust to this change and I will be able to sleep during the day.  We will see how this works out.....